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Friday, 25 April 2014

James and Emad

EASTER EGG LOST
One summer day, I gave a delicious Easter egg to my friend James. He was exited.
And went back to his house to keep it safe. The next day when I went to James’s house he shouted, “Were is my Easter egg! “Maybe my Yorkshire terrier could have ate it! We both went to find the Easter egg, James went to look in his room while I was looking in the garden.

I was tired so I said to James “I’m leaving to go back home. But I couldn’t find my Easter egg. Don’t worry I’ll get you an even better Easter egg.      

2 comments:

  1. Well done boys, I'm sure a Yorkshire Terrier would eat an Easter Egg!

    Start your second sentence in a different way. Remember ed-ing-ly and start your sentence with a word that has one of these endings.

    Where or were (Here, there and where is used for a place.)

    Remember to close speech with speech marks.

    Try to think of good verbs ('looking' could be 'searched')

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  2. Thanks James and Emad- your characters seem to be good friends and very kind! Some strong vocabulary choices here- 'delicious excited- shouted' stand out- and well done for using some speech punctuation- however- do be clear where the spoken words end. I also like the use of a precise dog type-keep writing.

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