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Friday, 25 April 2014

Kelly and Jessica

One Spring morning, I was woken up by my nasty sister called
Louise. I went down the slippery, spiral staircase to see what she wanted, and then at that very moment I heard we were going on an Easter Hunt. My mum roared like a lion.

“Why are you still in your night gown?” I rushed to get changed and dragged my mum out of the door. We got in the blood red car and skidded up the road. We finally got there after a half hour drive. My mum and I raced off but I couldn’t find the eggs! Devastatingly there were none left for us!

2 comments:

  1. Great verb choices girls (dragged, rushed) Can you improve 'went down the stairs'? How did you go down the stairs?

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  2. Hi Kelly & Jessica,
    Well done on your entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge.
    I was really impressed by the range of verbs you used. What particularly impressed me was way that you have used punctuation. Using commas where they should be, and how you have paragraphed too. I love reading sentence starters that start with adverbs. Really interesting.
    Next time, think about a really interesting way to start your story.
    Keep up the excellent blogging.
    Mr Kilcoyne
    Team 100 WC
    London
    UK

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