One stormy
night I was walking down the canyon then I jumped into a river. Then...
“AHHHHHHHH”
a noise out of nowhere and a cave popped up. And it had red all over it and
BANG! It sounded like a mineshaft working. But SPLAT blood came screaming out
on me! I ran into the cave and I saw blood everywhere. The cave was as red as a devil. I ran down
the stairs I came to a dark tunnel and KA BOOM. Then the noise stopped. I fell
down a hole then I saw spikes then BANG my life was over.
What a shocking and scary story boys. Excellent simile. Next time try to use connectives other than 'then' E.g. next, later, after.
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