Cookies
One day a
girl named Penelope Beats got extremely hungry for cookies so she went to get
some but when she lifted the lid... THERE WERE NO COOKIES!
Penelope was
very protecting over her cookies and would exterminate anyone who stole them!
Her dad was a professional detective so the task of finding her cookie thief
was no problem at all. At Sesame Street her search stopped and she found the
thief, it was... THE COOKIE MONSTER! She grabbed a great immense knife and
stabbed him in the back while shouting,
“THIS IS FOR
MY COOKIES!”
Penelope is now in a mental hospital
and has very serious problems...
Millie, what a frightening person Penelope is! Your last comment made me smile. I can see you have tried hard to include description, this helps the reader imagination the scene, so well done. You have also chosen some good vocabulary, such as exterminate and grabbed. If you re-look at your first sentence I think you will recognise that it needs at least one comma, as it is a very long sentence. Can you see where it might go? Thank you for posting your story, it was enjoyable to read. Mrs C (Team 100)
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