Rapunzel on the
run
Then it hit her. She wouldn’t wait for a snooty Prince to
come for her, she would rescue herself! As her hideous stepmother climbed up
the vines Rapunzel waited for her to reach the top. When she did, she hit her
off with a frying pan! As she landed, there was a loud crunching sound and a
scream of terror.
Afterwards she ran into town and brutally murdered anyone in
her way. She eventually became Queen and anyone who tried to defy her would be
killed...
By Millie and
Georgina!!
Excellently written girls. Although dark amusing at times, especially the frying pan bit! Good adverbs and general description - it really helped to build the image in my mind.
ReplyDeleteHello Millie and Georgina,
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to our traditional Rapunzel? At first I thought your version might have been about a young woman deciding she didn’t need a prince to rescue herself. However, she has become a crazed murderer intent on revenge against the innocent. Your story is a very gruesome twist on the traditional. Well done. I love surprises, even deadly ones. :)
I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation. Such care shows me you are good writers. I would normally make a suggestion on how a story might be improved but, in your example, I had better not. The Queen might be watching and I wouldn't dare offend her.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC. Who knows what gruesome tales are in our future. :)
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
I love this story Georgina and Millie
ReplyDeletewell done girlsn very grusome but interresting
ReplyDeletemayeda