One autumn morning in Disney land Paris, it was my birthday! For
my birthday I got a trip to BALLOON WORLD! At balloon world we saw so many HOT
AIR BALLOONS! We all saw them heating up the balloons and cutting the rope for
lift off! We gave the man the ticket and headed towards a hot air balloon. (I
chose one that looked like an Egale souring through the sky!)We heated it up
and went inside. Then we finally cut the ropes and headed for lift off! Looking down I was surprised to see my house from a distance! It was so
beautiful! It felt like I was flying too.
Lovely writing Mayeda, well done. Your use of capital letters and exclamation marks shows me, as a reader, how excited you were.
ReplyDeleteYou should have written 'Eagle soaring'.
Also think about your work as a whole - can you really see your house from Disney Land?
Mayeda,
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely 100WC- I really enjoyed reading it. You've used punctuation to good effect- particularly exclamation marks. It flowed very well and was a pleasure to read, well done.
very exiting mayeda you showed how the the person felt like and also dascribed about the balloon. i love it
ReplyDeleteOne autumn morning in Disney land Paris, it was my birthday! For my birthday I got a trip to BALLOON WORLD! At balloon world we saw so many HOT AIR BALLOONS! We all saw them heating up the balloons and cutting the rope for lift off! We gave the man the ticket and headed towards a hot air balloon. (I chose one that looked like an Eagle soaring through the sky!)We heated it up and went inside. Then we finally cut the ropes and headed for lift off! Looking down I was surprised to see my house from a distance! It was so beautiful! It felt like I was flying too.
ReplyDelete