Oscar the mole who lived in a hole
near a grassy river bank , who happily lived with his family. One day Oscar the
mole went for a stroll to the muddy puddle to find some grubs. On the way to the
woods Oscar found an a abandoned mole in
a tree trunk so he took him home. He was
very scruffy and looked like he needed a good meal. After a very good meal and
a wash and a brush up they decided to go out and while they were poking through
the earth they found some really lovely juicy grubs to eat.
A nice idea Harry, you must read your work and add in commas to show the different breaks in the sentences. Please make sure you do this before publishing your writing.
ReplyDeleteHello Harry,
ReplyDeleteYour creation of the character of Oscar the mole is imaginative and unique. In my class no one thought about using a mole as a character. Oscar seems very kind and friendly which are charming qualities for a main character to have. He is easy to connect with with increases the readers engagement with the story.
The selections of words you chose add some great description to your writing. My favorite part is,"He was very scruffy and looked like he needed a good meal." I can make a wonderful visual picture in my mind of the poor abandoned mole.
Be certain to carefully proofread your story before you publish. Take a look at your sentence construction so you are adding periods and fixing any run-ons.
Your story would make a great children's picture book!
Thank you for sharing Oscar the mole.
Gina Felton (Team 100, Iowa USA)