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Friday, 28 February 2014

MONSTER MAYHEM! by Mason and Joseph



One stormy day my friend and I went caving at Chislehurst caves. We were only 10, but there was a tour guide with us. SUDDENLY, we heard a rumbling noise underneath us! When we turned around are tour guide was gone! The only thing that was left was his bones. Out of knowere came weird looking creatures pushing through the thick solid earth trying to take over the universe!! And there’s no way to stop it.  So the weird huge creature made a colossal hole right through the middle of Chislehurst but what was it going to do next...#!                          
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2 comments:

  1. Unknown2 March 2014 at 08:26

    Great idea boys, great use of describing words. Be careful with your tense. The middle section should be 'There was no way to stop it!'

    are = our
    nowhere

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  2. Anonymous3 March 2014 at 11:02

    Dear Mason and Joseph,

    Great story! I like the way you leave the reader in suspense. Your use of the word "stormy" sets the reader up for a turbulent story, and the ground does, indeed, give way to these monsters. I agree with the previous commenter's editorial remarks.

    Well done!
    Jilanne Hoffmann (Team 100WC)

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