One stormy night there was a kid that wished for his teddy
bear to come alive. John heard a noise
and he said “teddy” BANG THE TEDDY BEAR
WAS PUSHING THOUGH THE EARTH. So John saw teddy with another teddy called Wasd
was very weird and they went out to dinner and Wasd ditched him and ran to the centre
of the earth. Teddy was sad L
and he ran to a corner of the apartments, he wished he could have
another girl that he can really trust unlike Wasd, unfortunlutly he didn’t find
one the end
Think you need to read this out loud boys. A great idea but you haven't checked your writing so your punctuation is correct and words are not missing.
ReplyDeleteThanks boys - I like the idea-well done for attempting to use speech- and good use of a connective starter- 'unfortunately' later on. Though I do agree with the previous comment-the lack of punctuation makes this a little difficult to follow.
ReplyDeleteMr Furlong-Team 100-Norwich