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Friday, 7 February 2014

Whirlpool by James

One grotty day at the harbour an unlucky fortune teller decided to take to the open waters. If he could then he would be a sea captain and sale around the glorious world.

When he did, he got sucked into a whirl pool it was the weirdest whirl pool in the world. When he woke up he was laying next a giant piece of glorious gold! After he tried to get the gold, he saw a elephant but it wasn’t a normal elephant it was the size of a lizard.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely idea James, well done.

    Exclamation marks, commas and dashes could really improve these sentences James.

    If he could, then he would be a sea captain and sale around the glorious world!

    When he did, he got sucked into a whirl pool, it was the weirdest whirl pool in the world!

    , he saw a elephant but it wasn't a normal elephant - it was the size of a lizard!

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