Back in 1944
I was in the battle field in France, against the Germans. I was shaking with
fear, as German bombers flew above me. I was in my huge trench; with about 500
other solders of my team. Now we had to go in for the kill, I was with my best
mate. As we went in for the kill, a spitfire landed on my best mate. And then I
started crying, after that we took over the Germans and won the war and thats
why we have the poppies.
Well done for keeping in the same tense boys. Next time remember when to use apostrophes for missing letters. (that's = that is)
ReplyDeleteWell done you two. I like how you've shown that even when countries win wars, lots of real people on the winning team die too. Your writing is exiting, and your use of commas is very good. Keep it up
ReplyDeleteRemembrance Day by Joseph Emmanuel and Mason
ReplyDeleteBack in 1944 I was in the battle field in France, against the Germans. I was shaking with fear, as German bombers flew above me. I was in my huge trench; with about 500 other solders of my team. Now we had to go in for the kill, I was with my best mate. As we went in for the kill, a spitfire landed on my best mate. And then I started crying, after that we took over the Germans and won the war and that's why we have the poppies.
Posted by Poverest Primary Year 6 at 11:11
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