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Friday 8 November 2013

The Glowing Ghost by Eva

Deep down the abandoned alleyway, a suspicious shadow arose from the mucky swamp. Its eyes glowing green, the body faintly blue, with specks of black. It haunts specific people up to this day still The day it happened was  on 6/3/2015 a little boy was casually feeding...

3 comments:

  1. Excellent descriptive start Eva with good adjective choices and use of alliteration. I would love to know the rest of your story though, next time make full use of your 100 words.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi eva, good use of abverbs and adjectives but maybe you could add more detail when it comes to
    "The day it happened was on 6/3/2015 a little boy was casually feeding..."
    from Tina

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Glowing Ghost by Eva

    Deep down the abandoned alleyway, a suspicious shadow arose from the mucky swamp. Its eyes glowing green, the body faintly blue, with specks of black. It haunts specific people up to this day still The day it happened was on 6/3/2015 a little boy was casually feeding some ducks when some bullys from school tried to getb the bread.
    "Give it to me you midget"shouted the bully
    but without saying anything the boy charged howether the bully dodged and he fellv dramitacilly into the swamp with only his boots sticking out.

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