As the two people outside the house
were glaring into the clean sparkling window. My friend Mickey and I inside the
house are watching the two outside below us.
When they approached the front door so we quietly creped out the back
door and made a run for it! As we ran through all the back gardens and jumped
over the fences, we sore them chasing after us a couple of gardens away. And
then I heard and saw blue lights chasing after me so I sprinted through the deep
dark alley, and all of a sudden . . .
D FOR NOW!.JPG)
Some great word choices boys, with quietly and sparkling. You need to decide which tense you are writing in. Most of the time it is past tense (were) but sometimes it changes to present (are)
ReplyDeleteHello boys this is carol from team100 and your story is fantastic.I love your photo and your writing is very good but most of all I want to know what happens next.well done
ReplyDeletelove your great puncution maybe next time read to check it makes sense.from cydni and kerry
ReplyDeletehi it's heather great adjectives you really painted a picture maybe next time use some speech. great work!
ReplyDeleteLook out for your spellings of sore and saw and also of creped and crept mr by Emad
ReplyDeleteThe Dead Arise by Joseph and Emmanuel
ReplyDeleteAs the two people outside the house were glaring into the clean sparkling window. My friend Mickey and I inside were also wathcing them. When they approached the front door so we quietly creped out the back door and made a run for it! As we ran through all the back gardens and jumped over the fences, we saw them chasing after us a couple of gardens away. And then I heard and saw blue lights chasing after me so I sprinted through the deep dark alley, and all of a sudden . . .