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Friday 8 November 2013

The Wedding Ring by Cydni

One lovely day I was riding on my bike, suddenly I hit a bump and my wedding ring fell into a pongy river. I tried to get it out but it was too far down. I tried a giant magnet, but there was a platform of wood in the way but I knew I had to get it, my whole life depended on it. So I jumped in but I got stuck in the platform. I could see my ring so I tried to yank my ring out of the platform. Suddenly I was free and I got my ring.

4 comments:

  1. I'm pleased you managed to get your ring back Cydni. Good use of adjectives and accurate punctuation. Next time try to use different connectives as you have used 'suddenly' twice.

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  2. Ju Mitchell - Team100WC10 November 2013 at 12:24

    Hi Cydni. Well done on completing this weeks 100WC. I like the idea of a giant magnet! Good work on using a range of adjectives. Keep up the good work.

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  3. Hi cydni i like your story but i think you use i to often other than that great !

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  4. One lovely day I was riding on my bike, suddenly I hit a bump and my wedding ring flew into a pongy river. I tried to get it out but it was too far down. I tried a giant magnet, but there was a platform of wood in the way but I knew I had to get it, my whole life depended on it. So I jumped in but I got stuck in the platform. I could see my ring so I tried to yank myself out of the platform. Suddenly I was free and I got my ring.



    ReplyDelete

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