One day I
was swimming quite peacefully through a refreshing river when I happened to
pass a fellow fish in distress. As I went closer I noticed that he was caught
in horrible, horrible murder weapon... a fishing net. Whipping my tail, I
charged upwards towards the attacker. I broke out of the water and landing on
the monsters blonde head. I panicked. I started biting his face as he ran
around like a headless chicken. He grabbed me round my middle and launch me
back into the water, the fish had broke free I had won! For now.
Super work Heather, Loved the saying running around like a headless chicken. Need to look carefully at the words launch/launched broke/broken, I like the whipping of his tail. Well done Mrs Wheller
ReplyDeleteI love the way you write as a sea creature 'whipping my tail'. Interesting perspective! Mrs. Weeks
ReplyDeleteGreat story from another fish's perspective. Always know what tense you wish to write in before your start.
ReplyDeleteGood alliteration and 'whipping my tail' is a complex sentence. Well done.
Hi, Heather. This is a very original 100WC -- I like that you wrote it from the point of view of a fish. Yours is the first one I've seen that does this -- great imagination. I also like the ending -- "for now" leaves your readers expecting more. Good job, thinking out of the box!
ReplyDeletei like your use of punchuation and adjectives and similes by joseph lee
ReplyDelete