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Friday 27 September 2013

The Zapping Statue by Mayeda and Eva


It all started when a young girl called Sofia was running away from kidnaper at high speed. She tiptoed behind a creepy evil statue she whispered save me save me!” The hideous statue obeyed Sofia. Suddenly the the statue used his evil eyes to turn the kidnapper to stone! Sofia was saved! But unfortunately she fainted, the statue flipped over so his legs surrounded the young girl to protect her! Early the following misty morning, she woke up with a fright because of the muscular legs.

3 comments:

  1. Great description and use of alliteration.

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  2. Mrs Boydon (100wc)29 September 2013 at 09:57

    Wow Mayeda and Eva, you have used some wonderful words in your writing! I love "tiptoed", "hideous" and "misty morning" - well done. The font really matches the spookiness of the story as well. You've got a good mixture of long and short sentences to add a bit of variety.
    Just check how you write speech - I think there's a comma and a capital letter missing somewhere ...
    I'm looking forward to reading your next ghoulish, ghastly, gruesome story!

    ReplyDelete
  3. It all started when a young girl called Sofia was running away from kidnaper at high speed. She tiptoed behind a creepy evil statue she whispered” Save me save me!” The hideous statue obeyed Sofia. Suddenly the the statue used his evil eyes to turn the kidnapper to stone! Sofia was saved! But unfortunately she fainted, the statue flipped over so his, legs which surrounded the young girl to protect her! Early the following misty morning, she woke up with a fright because of the muscular legs.

    ReplyDelete

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