My mum brought some new drinking glasses, which were very
expensive and she told me not to use them. My friend came round and we were having a sleepover and we
were having dinner together. Mother said” behave! I`m going to the shop”. My friend wanted a drink and she used
one of my mum`s new drinking glasses and she dropped it on the floor and ...suddenly we heard a crack...we were trying
to fix the glass when we heard the door slam out of nowhere we heard a soft
voice” I`m home girls”.WE STARTED TO PANICK.
I loved reading this and can't wait to find out what Mum says or if she notices the broken glass. I like that you have used a real-life situation and described the event well.
ReplyDeleteNext time could you change your last sentence as you have used 'we heard' twice to make it perfect?
I'm not surprised you started to panic, my mum would be furious if any of her best china or glasses were broken!
ReplyDeleteYou have used 'and' a lot at the beginning. Could you use other connectives instead?
Hi Cydni and Jessica
ReplyDeleteA very well told 100 word challenge story, girls. I can just imagine the situation. I particularly like your choice of words at the end - the juxtaposition of sounds with the slam of the door and the soft voice of your mother. It gives an added tension to the whole piece.
I liked the beginning when your mum bought the drinking glasses because you know that something is going to happen to it (some thing very horrible!)
ReplyDeleteFrom Maydea
Lol so funny I think you are the queens of storys
ReplyDelete