As I crept through the woods, I saw a figure that
would haunt my mind forever...
It all started as I, Belladonna Zackari, started to hate my life. At my first day at school
everyone laughed and pointed at me because I was different to them. When I was alone I
would cry, hoping that when I die I would get a better life than this.
That was the faithful night I decided to run away. I tied up all my sheets, stuck
them out the window and slid down.”I’m free!” I thought as I sprinted through
the paths, making my way to the forest.
I pushed through the razor sharp brambles to find a
clearing with a monster covered with blood and human legs. “Oh my god...” I thought as it stared at me with its blood thirsty eyes. The last thing I
did was scream for help, but nobody
came.
Very scary Millie but excellent description. Great speech punctuation as well.
ReplyDeleteWow, Millie - what a stunning 100wc! This story is very well-written and packed full of drama and tension - I want to read more! :-)
ReplyDeleteMr K (Team 100wc)
www.ashclass2013-14.blogspot.com
Wow, this story was fantastic and very scary. I hope to see more!
ReplyDeleteI love it millie how you said you slid down your sheets and sprinted down the path I think it is perfect and cant name any think that needs to be improved
ReplyDeleteBelladonna, I reckon you should have stayed at home! Next time you have a bad day at school, maybe you should try talking to Mum about it... Oh, I forgot, you won't be going to school any more because you've just been eaten...!
ReplyDeleteAHHHHH I am so freaked out now Mille Well done!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story line and all of the adjectives!
ReplyDeleteI really like this because it has a lot of exciting adjectives.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story and vocabulary, can't wait for your next one!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the story.It was really scary,maybe next time you can include more adjectives.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story. I really liked how you said it stared at you with it's blood thirsty eyes because I could really imagine it. Great job.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story. I really liked how you said it stared at me with it's blood thirsty eyes because I could imagine it. Great job.
ReplyDeleteAs I crept through the woods, I saw a figure that would haunt my mind forever...
ReplyDeleteIt all started as I, Belladonna Zackari, started to hate my life. At my first day at school everyone laughed and pointed at me because I was different to them. When I was alone I would cry, hoping that when I die I would get a better life than this.
That was the faithful night I decided to run away. As I peered out the window,I decided I would make the leap of faith.
”I’m free!” I thought as I sprinted through the paths as fast as my legs could carry me, making my way to the forest.
I pushed through the razor sharp brambles to find a clearing with a monster covered with blood and human legs. “Oh my god...” I thought as it stared at me with its blood thirsty eyes. The last thing I did was scream for help, but nobody came. Then... the unspeakable happened.
great 100wc millie i love it Jafna
ReplyDelete