When I was
in the garden it was there, an awkward shaped disk all these symbols had to
mean something. What could they mean?
Betty ran home as fast as she could, up to the attic she ran .betty
closely examined the disk it was amazingly weird she thought.
Suddenly I saw the brightest light of my life it was probably brighter
than heaven I thought, the brightest place?
Betty ran right past her mum puzzling her, past her dad and boring
brother. There she was in front of the mysterious and magical light.
END OF PART 2
Excellent use of adjectives and adverbs. Love the use of questions as well. Maybe you could use a simile next time. (Betty ran home as fast as a...)
ReplyDeleteLiked the way you described the disk as being an awkward shape. Are all brothers boring?Mrs Wheller
ReplyDeleteThis is a really clever style; first sentence in the first person, then Betty, then first person again, then back to Betty! It's almost as if we are hearing her think out loud in her excitement at finding such a strange object...
ReplyDelete