Day
1.
Today
I woke up in a strange place filled with abnormal creatures. I have asked to be
freed but the things won’t let me go. My name is Janie Grey and will someone
please save me...
I
am being held here underwater and I don’t think anyone knows I’m even out of
bed yet! What am I supposed to do?
Day
2.
I
can now feel myself changing into one of those slimy creatures; I don’t even
need air anymore. When I try to talk to them all they say is, “We shall conquer
all with you!” Maybe because I’m the chief’s daughter. I now grasp the last
seconds of being human.
Goodbye...
A magnificent effort made Millie - I just loved that final sentence. Well done you deserve a lot of credit for your hard work today. Mrs. Wheller
ReplyDeleteHow terrifying! Really makes you think. Mrs. Weeks
ReplyDeleteFantastic 100WC work Millie, a very horrifying account of being changed from human to fish! Well done for talking to the reader with questions (What am I supposed to do? Goodbye!)
ReplyDeleteThe final to last sentence could be clearer to the reader.
'Maybe this is because I'm the chief's daughter...they have a plan to use me'
Hello Millie,
ReplyDeleteWell done on entering the 100wc. I love how you have tried to be different by writing this as a diary entry. Very clever.
Your request to the reader to 'save me' made me want to read on to find out how I could do something for you. And your last sentence is a very poignant remider to the reader that we have done nothing!
Well done again. Brilliant! :)
Keep entering the 100wc
Mrs W - Team 100wc
Flamborough, East Yorkshire, England
Day 1.
ReplyDeleteToday I woke up in a strange place filled with abnormal creatures. I have asked to be freed but the creatures won’t let me go. My name is Janie Grey and will someone please save me...
I am being held here underwater and I don’t think anyone knows I’m even out of bed yet! What am I supposed to do? just lie here not caring?
Day 2.
I can now feel myself changing into one of those slimy creatures; I don’t even need air anymore. When I try to talk to them all they say is, “We shall conquer all with you!” Maybe because I’m the chief’s daughter... they have a plan to use me. I now grasp the last seconds of not being like those things.
Goodbye...