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Friday 13 September 2013

The Gigantic Fish by Mayeda

Once in London I went fishing with my special fishing rod. It was the time when I was fishing day dreaming about me catching a fish, suddenly my rod shook I couldn’t pick it up so I asked for help and got it out it looked horrible. We couldn’t control it so unluckily it went back in to the water but it was a dream ...but...”help me I can’t pick the fish up!”...
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous13 September 2013 at 14:54

    Very dramatic! Mrs. Weeks

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  2. Unknown14 September 2013 at 00:38

    Some great word choices in 'suddenly' and 'unluckily'

    Next time read your own work. When you pause for breath you will need a comma or possibly end the sentence with a full stop.

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  3. Anonymous20 September 2013 at 02:15

    i liked the part when we all thought that the dream was acshioly real but was it...i also like the end part!!!!!!!!

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