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Friday, 13 September 2013
The Gigantic Fish by Mayeda
Once in London I went fishing with my special fishing rod. It was the
time when I was fishing day dreaming about me catching a fish, suddenly my rod
shook I couldn’t pick it up so I asked for help and got it out it looked
horrible. We couldn’t control it so unluckily it went back in to the water but
it was a dream ...but...”help me I can’t pick the fish up!”...
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Very dramatic! Mrs. Weeks
ReplyDeleteSome great word choices in 'suddenly' and 'unluckily'
ReplyDeleteNext time read your own work. When you pause for breath you will need a comma or possibly end the sentence with a full stop.
i liked the part when we all thought that the dream was acshioly real but was it...i also like the end part!!!!!!!!
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