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Friday 27 September 2013

Halloween Night by Maison, Mason and Joseph


One Halloween night a young boy called Fred was out trick or treating and he was lost in the deadly dark woods. All of a sudden he heard a weird sound (whoop!)

He thought it was a Bigfoot, but out of nowhere it appeared... it was an immense man eating creature! That could run 1000 mph .then he saw a red head and then again (whoop!) then he ran for his life, 1 hour later his back at his house, then outside the colossal creature appeared MUNCH! A bit of the house was gone now it’s my turn ...

7 comments:

  1. Great description boys and some good WOW words.

    Be careful with his and he's (he's = he is)

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  2. I like the way you ended your writing, leaving the reader wondering what was going to happen next! You created a strong sense of suspense that kept the reader interested from beginning to end.
    Was it difficult to write together? How did you agree what to write?
    I would love to know what happened next, I wonder if this could become part of a longer story?
    Nicola Richardson
    100wc team

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  3. Amazing writing I like the suspence and begining try and use more adverbs. H.L.R

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  4. Amazing writing great suspence try and use more adverbs.H.R

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  5. Hi! Joseph I loved it when you described how fast the man eating creature.Good use of punctuation Well Done!

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  6. nice lovely work joseph and maison

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  7. One Halloween night a young boy called Fred was out trick or treating and he was lost in the deadly dark woods. All of a sudden he heard a weird sound (whoop!)


    He thought it was a Bigfoot, but out of nowhere it appeared... it was an immense man eating creature! That could run 1000 mph .then he saw a red head and then again (whoop!) then he ran for his life, 1 hour later his back at his house, then outside the colossal creature apOne Halloween night a young boy called Fred was out trick or treating and he was lost in the deadly dark woods. All of a sudden he heard a weird sound (whoop!)


    He thought it was a Bigfoot, but out of nowhere it appeared... it was an immense man eating creature! That could run 1000 mph .then he saw a red head and then again (whoop!) then he ran for his life, 1 hour later his back at his house, then outside the colossal creature appeared MUNCH! A bit of the house was gone now it’s my turn peared MUNCH! A bit of the house was gone now it’s my turn big fury beast

    ReplyDelete

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