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Friday 20 September 2013

Jessica


One bright and windy day I was sitting on my bed listening to some music relaxing, my mum and dad went shopping I stayed at home with my older sister. I was a bit board. I was getting changed and a really bright light appeared from the wardrobe. I quickly got all my clothes and run out the door, I went to tell my sister, I know I’m not crazy. I  looked in the wardrobe and got sucked in to a land full of snow...I don’t  know what I should do suddenly I saw someone walking towards me and I panicked, What should I do ...
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3 comments:

  1. Unknown21 September 2013 at 02:32

    Well done for using an adverb this week Jessica (quickly)
    Next week read your own work and check you have used commas when you would like your reader to pause.

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  2. Anonymous21 September 2013 at 11:52

    Hi Jessica,
    What an original idea! I was curious to know what was glowing in the wardrobe. I like the way you left the reader wanting to know more, in my head I have an image of a creature coming towards you, a little like you might find in Narnia.
    Keep writing!
    Miss. T team 100wc

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  3. Anonymous3 October 2013 at 02:51

    dear Jessica, I love how you ask questions to the reader but you need to work on your tenses.

    ReplyDelete

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