It all
started on the Thirteenth of September .
The worst day of
the year. When Ruby Green was home alone . Because her
parents went on holiday .she decided to
have a party . There was lots of
commotion going on at her party .The house was completely trashed people
started to go really crazy . Some people she didn’t even know were here. Suddenly there was a
crack....louder then all of the noise every one ignored it but ruby she crept
upstairs she open the closet a BAM she was gone.
No one heard here scream...
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ReplyDeleteI loved reading this and can't wait to find out where Ruby has gone? What will happen when her parents come back from holiday? I like the way you have created suspense all of the way through and a cliff-hanger at the end.
ReplyDeleteNext time check your work when you have finished as the last part has a few spelling mistakes e.g. her scream not here scream just to make it perfect.
Very mysterious girls and a scary ending. Check your work for full stops and commas.
ReplyDeleteAlso when typing your work, punctuation goes straight after the word before. Leaving a space after the punctuation.