Street fair
A huge pink gorilla cycled down the road on a grand bicycle,
everyone at the parade laughed except the poor
fluffy pink gorilla. Suddenly, an enormous team of rainbow
spotted zebras, with rainbow striped afros strolled down the road once again
everyone laughed except the zebras.
The parade is over and I am going to go to the tent and
see how they make the animals do what they do, because I think it’s cruel and not
fair, if they train the animals in a cruel way I will report it.
P.S. I love animals so much I am a vegetarian lol.
How very caring of you Millie, I really liked your first paragraph - it made me laugh! Your first paragraph is packed with WOW words, could you include some in your final paragraph?
ReplyDeleteSome lovely descriptions and use of words such as 'suddenly' to make it interesting. I felt sorry for the gorilla when he wasn't smiling. Your second paragraph seems a bit disjointed from the first - it includes a powerful message, but isn't as descriptive.
ReplyDeleteReally good idea to write about something you feel passionate about. Well done.
Mrs Williams (team 100wc)
I also love your first paragraph. It is very descriptive and I can picture this silly parade easily in my mind just by reading about it.
ReplyDeleteYour second paragraph could be linked to the first a little better, but it definitely express how you and many others (including me) about the treatment of animals. Well done.