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Friday, 10 January 2014
Kerry and Kelly
Today is Christmas day and I am so excited about opening all my wonderful presents. I am intrigued to know what is in that little box. Opening my present slowly I find what looks like a small creature which I have to put batteries in. As I do it starts to come alive! With black furry legs like a tarantula, it jumps out of the wrapping paper and shoots across the room. I am screaming with fear. What is that? I can now hear some scurrying coming from under the floor?
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I'm not a big fan of spiders girls and your story has made my skin crawl! Great description and use of 'intrigued' and 'scurrying'. Great use of speaking to the reader as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mr.h
DeleteWell done girls I loved your story from harry and jamie
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! That sounds like a very scary present to receive. I loved the way you wrote your story and thought you used some great words. Well done on taking part this week.
ReplyDeletelove the word scurrying from cydni
ReplyDeleteGreat story but it dose no mack sents in plases.
ReplyDeleteToday is Christmas day and I am so excited about opening all my wonderful presents. I am intrigued to know what is in that little box. Opening my present slowly I find what looks like a minute creature which I have to put batteries in. As I do, it starts to come alive! With black furry legs like a tarantula, it jumps out of the crinkly wrapping paper and shoots across the room. I am screaming with fear. "What is that?" I can now hear some scurrying coming from under the floor?Pata Pata Pata
ReplyDeleteToday is Christmas Day and I am so excited about opening all my wonderful presents. I am intrigued to know what is in that little box. Opening my present slowly I find what looks like a tiny creature which I have to put batteries in. As I do it starts to come alive! With black, furry, hairy legs like a tarantula, it jumps out of the shiny wrapping paper and shoots across the room. I am screaming with fear. "What is that?" I can now hear some scurrying coming from under the floor?
ReplyDelete