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Friday, 31 January 2014
zoo by Antoine
ONE COSY WINTER MORNING IT
WAS A BOY NAMED TYLER’S BIRTHDAY .HE WAS 10 TODAY!! HE WOKE UP TO A BRITISH
BREAKFEST (EGG, PANCAKE, SAUSAGE AND BACON, SYREP) TODAY HIS MUM PROMISED TO
TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO. BUT FIRST HE HAD TO UNWRAP HIS PRESENT. HE WAS DELIGHTED
TO FIND A BYCECLE.
AT THE ZOO THERE WAS A NEW
BABY GORILLA. IT WAS PINK MICHEAL LAUGHED WITH JOY. AND FOR THE GRAND
FANALLI OF HIS BIRTHDAY WHEN HE WHENT HOME HE FOUND ALL OF HIS FREINDS THEY HAD
A GREAT PARTY AND CAKE AND AFTER HE EVEN HAD A AWSOME SLEEP OVER.
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Well done for including all of the five words Antoine. Next time consider where to place commas within your sentences.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a wonderful birthday. You did an excellent job using the special words. I would also remind you to be careful with your punctuation placement.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Vreeland@ Team 100 NJ USA