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Friday, 24 January 2014

That’s my house.by Mary



My name is Kayley, and I had an astonishing apartment, with a leopard print carpet, a beautiful view and slide doors. I was walking down the beautiful streets of ORPINGTON. With my one of a kind award winning pup, her name is Pooboo. And she likes sleeping in my purse. As I looked out the window of an old rusty shed I saw the reflection of my apartment wrecking ball. THEY WERE KNOCKING DOWN MY APARTMENT.I screamed in horror. Pooboo woke up from her nap. I guess I better move to Birmingham with my parents I have nothing to pack so I better start walking.  The end 

 

3 comments:

  1. Good word choices to describe your apartment Mary, lovely idea to include you seeing a reflection in your story just like the reflection in the picture prompt.

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  2. Hi there, Mary,
    This is a great piece of writing - it left me wanting to know more about Kayley and her lifestyle - she sounded a bit like a celebrity. (Like Ashley and Pudsey!)
    I wonder also what kind of mistake could have caused your apartment to be demolished... I also like the way you used the reflection that was visible in the prompt.
    Well done, keep up the good work,
    Mrs Radd (Team100WC) Northamptonshire, England.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi there, Mary,
    This is a great piece of writing - it left me wanting to know more about Kayley and her lifestyle - she sounded a bit like a celebrity. (Like Ashley and Pudsey!)
    I wonder also what kind of mistake could have caused your apartment to be demolished... I also like the way you used the reflection that was visible in the prompt.
    Well done, keep up the good work,
    Mrs Radd (Team100WC) Northamptonshire, England.

    ReplyDelete

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