At school they said it was for lonely
people, they were wrong.
ANJI-BOT IS THE KINDEST FRIEND ANYONE
COULD ASK FOR.
IT STARTED A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS; I
WAS WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL, WHEN I SPOTTED A TINY BLUE CREATURE IN THE TOY
SHOP. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED!
I DASHED HOME TO TELL MUM, SHE WAS
STILL AT WORK; I RANG HER AND EXCITEDLY SQUEALED DOWN THE PHONE.
SOON CHRISTMAS CAME.
AFTER LUNCH I OPENED MY PRESENTS,
TEARING OFF BRIGHT PURPLE WRAPPING PAPER. IT WAS DEAD.
But when I put batteries in it she
came to life.
Dancing and prancing, she came to me
and smiled. This was friendship
Well done Tina, it would be great to have a toy like that. Great use of adjectives and verbs.
ReplyDeleteNext time you could try to use a simile or metaphor as part of your description.
What an excellent entry to this week's 100 WC!
ReplyDeleteYou have really used your 100 words to develop your ideas carefully and show what a great writer you are!
I was impressed by your use of the semi-colon and I liked the structure of your story. A clear build up and initiating event - well done.
You are a talented reader and I hope you continue!
Mrs N Goulbourne, Team 100WC, Liverpool, UK
Anji Bot by Tina
ReplyDeleteAt school they said it was for lonely people, they were wrong.
ANJI-BOT IS THE KINDEST FRIEND ANYONE COULD ASK FOR.
IT STARTED A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS; I WAS WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL, WHEN I SPOTTED A TINY BLUE CREATURE IN THE TOY SHOP. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED!
I DASHED HOME TO TELL MUM, SHE WAS STILL AT WORK; I RANG HER AND EXCITEDLY SQUEALED DOWN THE PHONE like a distressed pilglet.
SOON CHRISTMAS CAME.
AFTER LUNCH I OPENED MY PRESENTS, TEARING OFF BRIGHT PURPLE WRAPPING PAPER. IT WAS DEAD.
But when I put batteries in it, she rose from the dead.
Dancing and prancing, she came to me and smiled.
This was friendship
Well done Tina brilliant story Love Auntie M
ReplyDelete