It’s Christmas, I can’t wait to open my gifts.
I desperately wanted the wobble gun that
shoots
out water and bubbles. I ran
downstairs and beamed at the Christmas tree. There
was a humongous present, just for me. I
thought it was the wobble gun, but it was the electronic blob (that’s what my brother
wanted not me). On the instructions it said hands must be clean before
inserting the batteries. I ran to the blue
kitchen washed my hands, and didn’t bother to dry them. But when I
plopped batteries in I felt a sharp shock ( I should have dried my hands)
Electricity and water definitely don't mix Mary! A good clear account of your day and great use of apostrophes.
ReplyDeleteNext time make sure you punctuate before the closing bracket. Also try to start sentences in lots of different ways rather than I, I, I.
Hi Mary. Happy New Year. Thank you for your entry, I really enjoyed reading it. You used some good vocabulary. I particularly liked your use of 'desperately'. I found your sentences well structured and easy to read. You punctuated well and made great use of brackets in your writing. Well done!
ReplyDeleteMrs Beshiri (Team 100WC)
Well done Mary and that teaches us all to not have slippery hands while playig with electricty! well done and It is set out wonderfully!
ReplyDelete