“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP THE SHED JUST ATE MY DAD!”
MY MUM CAME DARTING OUT AND SHE WENT INTO THE SHED AND LET
OUT A HUGE SCREAM. NOW WHAT DO I DO? IS IT ME NEXT . . . ?
Friday, 24 January 2014
MYSTERY SHED! by Mason, Joseph and Emmanuel
ONE MYSTERIOUS DAY , I WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL IN MY LOVELY
GARDEN. I KICKED THE BALL THOUGH THE SHED WINDOW AND IT MADE A LOUD SMASH! SO I
STEPPED INTO THE SHED, HOWEVER THE BALL WASN’T THERE! IMMEDIATELY I RAN INSIDE
TO SAY MY BALL WAS MISSING. SO MY DAD WALKED INTO THE DANGEROUS SHED AND HE
NEVER CAME OUT AGAIN!
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Good describing words and use of the connective 'However'. Great speech punctuation as well. Maybe you could use more connectives next time, especially at the end where you have used 'and' lots of times.
ReplyDeleteThis is a intresting story with awesome font.
ReplyDeleteA person eating shed! Now that is an interesting and very clever response to the prompt! I love the cliffhanger of "Is it me next?". The chiller font was appropriate but I must say I found all capitals a bit confronting. Perhaps I related it to shouting in an email. I did like the use of exclamation marks - and I always appreciate correct punctuation. Well done, boys! Good job.
ReplyDeleteWell done boys I love your story I would like to say well done if u have class dojo witch my class have please have one. Mrs Nickerson school in wales
ReplyDelete