One exquisite day I was walking to the local shop and something extremely
strange happen coming on the road was a Gorilla was riding on a small bicycle that was grand pink and it would constantly laughed after
anything that someone would say. After I
Went to the shops the gorilla would follow me
everywhere until i went to the zoo and the zoo owner came and got the
gorilla and took it away and I never saw
it again ... awaiting one day i heard a beep and this time the gorilla was in a
Orange car.
Fantastic start Tanya but I don't think you have read your writing. It is important to read it out aloud so you can check your writing makes sense. Eg does this sentence make sense?
ReplyDeletecoming on the road was a Gorilla was riding on a small bicycle
Hi Tanya - I agree with Paul: there are a lot of good bits in your 100wc, but it could do with a bit of 'polishing'! Do always proof-read to see if you can spot any small mistakes!
ReplyDeleteMr K (Team 100wc)
my gorilla friend by Tanya
ReplyDeleteOne exquisite day, I was walking to the local shop when something extremely strange happened. Cycling on the black road there was a Gorilla who was pedleing on a tiny bicycle that was fluorescent pink! It would constantly laugh after anything that anyone said
After I went to the shops the gorilla would follow me everywhere, to the ice-cream man and until I went to the zoo. The zoo owner came outside to the enterance and grabbed the laughing gorilla and took it away and I never saw it again .until one day I heard a LOUD HONK HONK and this time the gorilla was in a
dark orange car waving crazily at me!