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Friday 31 January 2014

zoo mayhem by James


Zoo Mayhem

 One foggy morning, I immediately got up for a trip to the zoo with my superb granddad, Dave we didn’t have far to go so we took are bicycles instead off the car. When we got there it was jam packed with people because there was a rare mountain Gorilla that poaches keep killing for a laugh. Finally when we got in someone tripped me over and I fell in the pink gorilla habitat, it hurt when I fell but I just remembered that I had blueberries in my pocket I thought that I was going to die but before the gorilla got me the zookeeper saved me I will always be in his debt!             

1 comment:

  1. Some great word choices James. Excellent controlled punctuation at the start, but you end up with a very long sentence. Also...

    are or our?
    off or of

    ReplyDelete

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