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Friday, 24 January 2014

THE SHED by Maison


One Stormy night, there was a boy walking about in a graveyard. around all the graves was blood; thick red blood! WHOSH!
“HELLO, WHO’S THERE?” AN ECHO CAME FROM ONE OF THE GRAVES
“YESSS” THE GRAVE STARTED TO BREAK APART.
“WHO ARE YOU?” HE WAS SCARED FOR HIS LIFE, CRASH! BANG! BOOM!  HE THOUGHT HE WAS DREAMING.
“IM  ... IM YOUR WORST NIGHTMERE YOU WILL DIE!” HE RAN As fast as he could intil he got out of the graveyard…he saw a shed “help” “help” he called know one could hear him he opened the door BANG!…

3 comments:

  1. A very spooky gruesome account Maison. A couple of spellings for you, it is until and no one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lots of action and energy in this 100WC, Maison. Good to see dialogue in your piece too.
    You now need to take care a little more with spelling and punctuation without losing your creativity.
    Well done and good luck in your future writing.

    Trish Burgess (Team 100WC)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great ideas Maison, as the reader the dialogue lost me as I was not always sure who was speaking. Check your work to make it as easy as possible for others to fully enjoy your ideas.
    Andy Knill Team100WC, Essex, UK

    ReplyDelete

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