Dear Diary,
Today’s Christmas! My twin and I can`t
wait to open our prezzies. I’m downstairs now and I found our prezzies! Oh it’s a very big disappointment, a
dolly, it also comes without batteries. Later I found a few batteries .Today we are waiting to put the
batteries in the doll, from the mystery person,
We thought the toy was pathetic
...but when we put the batteries in ...it... was amazing !!! the doll could talk “Hello Jafna and Cydni.”
“how on earth does it know our names.” I asked .
This is the end of part 1...
Great idea girls but it gets very confusing as you have mixed up the past and present tenses. This would be much better written in the past tense only.
ReplyDeleteMr Dunn Australia (Team 100 WC) A good start to the New Year girl's and I like the use of bold writing to show the complication. I also like the suspense you used with the doll knowing your names. I would encourage you both to try and write your own 100 WC. Good luck with the next 100WC.
ReplyDeleteDear Diary,
ReplyDeleteToday’s Christmas! My twin and I can`t wait to open our prezzies. we're downstairs now and we found our prezzies! Oh but it was a very very big disappointment, a dolly(for 2 year olds), it also comes without batteries. Later I found a few batteries .Today we are waiting to put the batteries in the doll, from the mystery person,
We thought the toy was pathetic ...but when we put the batteries in ...it... was amazing !!! the doll spoke “Hello girls.”
“how on earth does it know our names?” I asked .
end of part 1...
Dear Diary,
ReplyDeleteToday’s Christmas! My twin and I can`t wait to open our prezzies. we're downstairs now and we found our prezzies! Oh but it was a very big disappointment, a dolly(for 2 year olds), it also comes without batteries. Later I found a few batteries .Today we are waiting to put the batteries in the doll, from the mystery person,
We thought the toy was pathetic ...but when we put the batteries in ...it... was amazing !!! the doll spoke “Hello Jafna and Cydni.”
“how on earth does it know our names?” I asked .
end of part 1...