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Friday 31 January 2014

pink gorilla by Mary


Pink gorilla

 Dear diary

Remember yesterday when I told you that I saw a pink gorilla at the park? I still haven’t told anyone yet, I’m scared they won`t believe me  it’s been running through my mind all night. What if it tries to hurt someone and why is it pink? I’m so confused.  I`ll tell my sister she might believe me.

Anxiously I crept down the crackly stairs stacking as I got to the last; step to find my lazy sister laying on the couch like a monkey after eating 50 bananas. I said Lola can you take to the park please I saw a pink gorilla. (giggles) there’s no such thing a pink gorilla and no I cant take to the park in tired she said.  I had to think of a plan to make her take me then I thought of a great idea. There’s a grand opening shoes sale at the park I said go get you bicycle were going to the park.   THE END   (The gorilla was just a girl in a costume)
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2 comments:

  1. Unknown31 January 2014 at 10:07

    Some wonderful sentences Mary, especially your questions to your diary.

    To improve ensure you write in the same tense - in this case the past tense. Also read your own writing before posting. You have missed words and commas would help me to read your writing. Speech marks would also help.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3 February 2014 at 07:08

    Pink gorilla


    Dear diary


    Remember yesterday when I told you that I saw a pink gorilla at the park? I still haven’t told anyone yet, I’m scared they won`t believe me! it’s been running through my mind all night. What if it tries to hurt someone and why is it pink? I’m so confused. I`ll tell my sister she might believe me.


    Anxiously I crept down the creakey stairs, tripping as I got to the last step to find my lazy sister laying on the couch like a monkey after eating 50 bananas. I said "Lola can you take to the park please, I saw a pink gorilla!"
    She giggled " There’s no such thing as a pink gorilla and no I can`t take to the park I`m tired . I had to think of a plan to make her take me. Then I thought of a great idea! "There’s a grand opening shoes sale at the park" I said.
    go get you`r bicycle she said were going to the park. THE END (The gorilla was just a girl in a costume)

    ReplyDelete

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