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Friday 10 January 2014

Lock Your Door by Millie W


                                                  Lock your door

Dear Diary,

It all started when Megan Bulling told me her story, I thought she was playing around at first. But she wasn’t. She opened her present, and named it Boo, Boo after her little sister. Megan didn’t realise   that the present wasn’t half as sweet as her little sister...

The very next night they found some batteries “but when I put the batteries in!” Megan screeched “boom red eyes and explosions every where.” Megan didn’t know that every girl on her road got one. England was about to change big time.

                                                        

                              Everyone is now gone into hiding!
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2 comments:

  1. Unknown10 January 2014 at 11:22

    This reminds me of 'Stormbreaker' Millie - how scary. Great controlled writing. More adjectives and adverbs would help make your writing more descriptive.

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  2. Trish11 January 2014 at 09:01

    (I think my fist comment was gobbled up so will try again)

    Your story has lots of pace and draws the reader into the action. Well done, Millie.
    For next week's 100WC, maybe try a different style with more descriptive words? It's the ideal place to experiment.

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