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Friday 17 January 2014

Food poisoning by Millie W

                                                            
Dear diary,

We have just been out for a meal but I don’t feel so good, I mean all I had was custard and banana. I don’t think there is any thing bad in custard or bananas, mum had the same but she is fine, in fact she ate Kenny’s as well (Kenny is my little brother)

I think I have food poisoning again but I can’t be sure. Mum brought me some more custard up from earlier just to prove it, however as I ate the custard it tasted like a bowl of slime! Blurrr I threw up everywhere.  
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2 comments:

  1. Unknown17 January 2014 at 11:32

    Good simile Millie. Could you include more powerful verbs and adjectives?

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  2. Mr G, Sheffield, UK (Team 100WC)19 January 2014 at 11:43

    I'm so glad I had my tea before reading your 100WC Millie. Custard and bananas is one of my favourite puddings though so you didn't manage to put me off ;-)
    As this was a diary-style post, I think you did a great job of getting the tone of your writing right - slightly conversational, almost as though you're talking to yourself. Well done.

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